Say “yes” in a new way; it will change your life.
Too often we say “yes” when we really want to say “no.” Someone makes a request of us and we feel pressured to accept it. We face this predicament practically every week, if not every day. It could be any flavor of request:
- Will you join the committee?
- Will you serve on the board?
- Will you lead the project?
- Will you come to the party?
Invariably, the person making the request is sincere and committed to what they’re doing, and they’re recruiting us because of the value we’ll bring to their initiative. It’s hard to say no when they ask. And if they’re someone who is really persuasive, persistent, or aggressive, it’s even harder to say no. The challenge—no matter how effective or pressure-filled the request—is that we only have so much time and energy.
When I ask the people I coach or the participants in my seminars and speeches how much they enjoy saying no, the answer is always that no one does. So, I teach them how to say yes to their own priorities and projects, rather than put excess energy in their no.
I explain when you say you are not able to join another committee or start another activity, for example, you are saying yes to something else in your life; it could be more time with your family, coaching your children’s sports, exercising, writing your book, or any number of priorities you have. We just have to politely say no because of the other commitments we have (how much we share about these commitments depends on the relationship).
This new way of saying yes relieves us of the heavy burden often associated with having to say no. And while others might be disappointed with our decision, they will respect the clarity of our commitment to what’s important to us.
When we say yes to our lives, we build our confidence to set and follow our own course. We are not tied to the direction others prefer we take.
Good things happen when we say yes to what matters most in our lives.
p.s. Get your updates by email and special resources by signing up here
. They’re free!
p.p.s. Thank you to my friend, Cindy Rold, for her insight into the power of saying “yes.”