Warning Label: This is hard to do (for all of us) and should be tried at home and at work.
I want to ask you to try something this week the next time you feel frustrated by someone. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but it sure has helped me honor my No Garbage Trucks! Pledge.
First, let’s deal with reality. Feeling frustrated is not fun. It can cast a shadow over our relationships and our daily lives.
When we’re frustrated—especially when we’re in the midst of feeling frustrated with someone—it’s hard to have perspective. We become so focused on what’s frustrating us that horse blinders appear on the side of our heads: We can only see what the other person is doing to upset us. In that state of mind, it’s easy for us to overlook the role we might have played in the problem.
So, here’s one way to give us some perspective. It’s hard, but it’s worth doing.
Stop and think. I know what they’re doing that’s frustrating me. But what am I doing that may be frustrating them?
It’s easy to focus on how other people are responsible for the problem we’re dealing with. And while they may have done or are doing something that needs to be addressed and corrected, it’s often helpful to check our behavior, too.
If we expect others to change, it’s only fair that we should be willing to change ourselves.
And if we were all open to change, think what would happen in our relationships.
Are you up for The Law of the Garbage Truck challenge this week?
Let’s do it.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
This blog post couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time. I have been having personal issues lately with an individual who I was quite fond of at one time, but circumstances and life had caused a rift to come between us, and nothing either of us said to the other was taken in the correct context, and feelings were continuously being hurt. I had been unwilling to change, thinking I was the wronged party in the situation, when really we were both wrong in many ways. Thanks, David. Your blog is spot on.
Hi Lulubell,
Thanks for you great post. What a gift you are giving to your relationship and to yourself. It takes courage and confidence to look at your relationship with a broader perspective. I’m sending you all my best wishes! Let me know how it goes.
All the best,
David
I believe most people focus themselves on what others are doing wrong. We must never forget that all of us are responsible for our own happiness and our state of mind even though family, work, economic and social conditions contribute to our unhappy thinking or frustration. Much of our frustration and anger might be triggered by external circumstances but It’s our responsibility to control ourselves, analyze, meditate and accept our responsibility. We have options. We choose what’s best in order to make the best possible decision in order to get the best possible result. Our decisions not only have consequences for us but for all the stakeholders. So, all of us must be willing to dig deep in order to find our mistakes first before asking others to change their attitudes. Congratulations David. All the best.
“Taking control of your life with one decision” certainly can be helpful in dealing with frustration. I will not dump garbage(the pledge). The philosophy of The Law Of the Garbage Truck will help us step back and try to objectively see the other person’s point of view. It is fundamental in maintaining relationships and living a happy and productive life. Congrats on your soon to be released book, David. Lil
Hi Miguel!
What a great comment! You said it beautifully. Thanks, Miguel, for all your support.
All the best,
David
Thanks, Lil! You’re so right about the need to take a step back and look at our relationships…and what we contribute to them.
And I appreciate the good wishes about the book.
All the best,
David
David,
Thanks. This was a wake up call to how I am with my children. There are many times I am tired and not realizing it, become short and impatient. Then, my kids are acting that same way. I then get more frustrated. But looking back, it was me that began the cycle.
Thanks for opening my eyes.
Abby
Hi Abby,
Your children are so lucky that you are their mother. Your willingness to look at your own actions leading up to a challenge with your children is already doing amazing things for your relationship with them. Many people only see the conflict that they’re in, not how it came about and how it could have been different (and can be in the future).
Sending best,
David
I have yet to read your book, I just heard of it listening to 92.5KQRS. There is always two sides to every situation. Cause and effect, people have seemed to lost that somewhere in this self-centered world we have become. Thank you for shining alittle light on it.
Hi Lori,
Great to hear from you! I enjoyed my visit to 92.5KQRS. Thanks for tuning in!
And I sure appreciate your support of our mission to increase Happiness, Success, and Civility in the world. You’re so right; we make the world a better place when we try to broaden our perspective in our interactions with others.
Stay in touch…and I hope you pick up the book. I know you’ll really like it.
All the best,
David